The Perfect Father’s Day Gift

It’s Father’s Day. Nothing says “dad”, quite as well as cheesy, corny, and sometimes flat out dumb dad-jokes. So, this Father’s Day give the gift of humor. I’ve only been a dad for 4 years, but telling dumb jokes is one skill, I feel like I’m able to bring to the table. Not only do I enjoy comedy that makes kids and adults laugh, as a dad, but also it’s a big part of my job. So with it being Father’s Day weekend I thought I would post 27 of the best…dad-jokes.

  1. What’s brown and sticky?
    A stick!
  2. How many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh?
    Ten-tickles
  3. What did the rain cloud wear under his pants?
    Thunder-wear
  4. What happens when it rains cats and dogs?
    You might step in a poodle!
  5. What do you call a flying monkey?
    A hot air baboon! (You call a political monkey the same thing)
  6. What do you call a monkey on a minefield?
    Ba-booom! (PETA doesn’t like that one)
  7. What do you call a cow with no legs?
    Ground beef.
  8. What do you call a cow with two legs?
    Lean beef
  9. What’s brown and green and will kill you if it falls from a tree?
    A pool table.
  10. How does NASA organize a birthday party?
    They planet
  11. DId you hear Office Depot is now renting out it’s space for birthday parties? You know what they yell when you walk in?
    SUPPLIES!
  12. What do you call it when Batman skips church?
    Christian Bale
  13. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
    The food is great but there’s no atmosphere.
  14. I had a vegetarian girl come up to me and say she was glad to see me again. I was confused though…
    I’d never met her-bi-vore.
  15. What do you call it when a dinosaur crashes his car?
    A T-Rex!
  16. What’s the smartest dinosaur?
    A the-saurus.
  17. What does a vegetarian zombie eat?
    GRAAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNNS!
  18. What do you call a fake noodle?
    An impasta.
  19. What do you call cheese that’s not yours?
    Na-cho cheese. (That one’s not very goud-a)
  20. What’s Adam and Eve’s easiest school subject?
    History
  21. Who’s the smartest person in the Bible?
    I don’t know but Abraham knew a Lot.
  22. Who’s the funniest person in the Bible?
    Samson. He brought the house down.
  23. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
    You’d think it be “Rrrrr” but it’s actually… the “C”.
  24. How come pirates never play cards?
    Because they’re always standing on the deck.
  25. How come the pony couldn’t sing?
    Because it was a little hoarse.
  26. How come the opera singer went out on a boat?
    She wanted to hit the high-“C”!
  27. How do you know if a joke is a dad-joke?
    The punchline is…”a-pparent”.

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